I host a DJ show with a friend of mine at the college radio station where we both work. It’s called the “no dudes power hour,” so we only play songs performed by non-male fronted bands. When I talk about it on the radio, I like to clarify that it’s not just an all girl power hour because we play a lot of songs by transgender and non-binary artists. I like to keep my music inclusive, but I think the “white boy indie rocker” is way overrepresented in the college music scene ‘nowadays.
There’s a phone in the DJ studio, and we’ll get calls sometimes from people who are really vibing with what we’re playing, or to call in their own suggestions. Other times, we’ll do ticket-giveaways for local shows that include reading the station hotlines aloud over the air. Today, a man called and talked extensively about how cool our show was, how much he liked our music, and that we sounded like “hot radio babes.” Um.
The most ironic part of the experience was that he had called in and initially started raving about the last song we had played “Tacocat – Hey Girl,” a song by Seattle-based indie punk group Tacocat; a song about catcalling women, and offering them unsolicited comments about their appearances. Had we been listening to the same song? Maybe the song’s lyrics were a little too sarcastic; Hey man I like your style, tell a girl that she should smile But even then, why did he feel like it was ok to call us and tell us how hot he thought we sounded? What does that have to do with having the same taste in music?
Here’s a quick list of Other Things You Can Say To Girls Without Commenting On Their Appearances And Being A Misogynistic Jerk, my first post geared entirely towards GUYs. Hey guys!
Do you have trouble approaching women you don’t know and talking to them? That doesn’t surprise me, because that’s kind of a weird thing to do. Do you have a reason to talk to her, like you noticed she was being followed by a ninja assassin ready to strike her down and you need to let her know so she can call the police or someone for help? No? Ask yourself, will it change her life for the better if you talk to her right now? Are you sure? Ok go ahead, but use some social grace:
Things to say to women you don’t know that aren’t creepy:
- I love your shoes [or similar article of clothing/accessory.] Regardless of gender – who doesn’t love a compliment?
Warning: ‘shoes’ or an article of clothing cannot be substituted with anything naturally attached to her.
- Have you seen the latest episode of Broad City[or similar media outlet written by and starring women]? If she says no, or gives you a strange look for talking to her, allow the awkwardness of the moment to sink into your pores. Think long and hard about your choice to approach this perfect stranger and talk to her. Think of her response, or lack thereof, and what it implies about how she feels about this interaction. Think of this long and hard.
Don’t talk to strangers.